The Intricacies of Introverts and Extraverts

Can they live in harmony? If you answered “yes”, you’re probably an extravert. If you’re an introvert you probably didn’t answer at all so as to avoid an argument with the extraverts. Everyone has a general idea of the difference between the two, but does either one understand it better than the other?

Generally speaking those who are introverted prefer to keep their problems to themselves. Even if the problem is significant and even if telling someone else might make it much easier with which to deal, they usually choose to handle it alone. Extraverts, on the other hand, opt for announcing even their minor problems to just about everyone they know. We seem to coexist, so does it matter if extraverts get all the attention? Don’t introverts prefer to keep to themselves anyway?

A few issues arise. If extraversion is about craving the attention of others, then if voicing one’s problems results in attention, comfort, sympathy and affirmation, is it not reasonable to suggest this encourages the sharing of problems (no matter how minor) and even encourages some people to create problems for themselves?

Introverts aren’t all innocent. Often extraverts assume introverts have it easy as they never complain and never seem to be stressed or have problems with which to deal. This is at least partly the fault of those keeping everything to themselves. Hiding the truth and always putting on a relaxed, happy face projects such an appearance. Introverts tend to indicate the truth with various subtleties, but extraverts need them to be a bit more obvious. It’s a bit like a stereotypical man trying to decipher the mannerisms of a stereotypical woman, or vice versa.

The problem comes down to the fact that introverts behave …well …introvertedly. They’d prefer to avoid any confrontation and move on. Whereas extraverts act like they’re supposed to and, unless it whacks them in the face, just keep worrying about themselves.

Are we all really completely and definitely one or the other? Definitely not. Just as with something like sexuality, nobody is 100% one or the other. I suppose it is just easier to identify with one party rather than claim to be 90% introverted and 10% extraverted.

It’s human nature that most of us tend to choose a side. Like with a political party. You’re kidding yourself if you truly support one party unconditionally and agree with everything they stand for, yet at the same time disagree with everything the rival party stands for. The party names don’t even make sense. Aren’t they all Liberal Democratic Republicans? But that’s a discussion for another day.

Getting back to the topic at hand. It’s simply more interesting than if we were all omniverts. In fact, the world would probably be a boring place. Either that or the opposite would reign and we’d all be crazy freaks. Hmm…maybe it would be no different after all?

If you made it this far, you may be curious as to what prompted this rant? Well let’s say Jack and Jill (the genders don”t matter) were doing what they do every day and fetching a pail of water. On the way up the hill Jill kicks her toe, but realises she has to keep going so doesn’t say anything to Jack. Shortly after, Jill gets stung by a bee. Rather than bother making a fuss, she rubs it and keeps going. Jill feels like nothing ever goes her way, but prefers to keep this to herself as she feels Jack would not understand.

On the way back down after discussing why they didn’t bring two pails and save another trip, Jack pinches his finger on the old wooden pail while taking his turn to carry. Jack spends the rest of the walk down the hill complaining about it. He claims it’s going to hurt for days and lets out loud moans when it aches. Rather than tell Jack about her earlier injuries, Jill keeps quiet and insists on taking a look at Jack’s finger, and carrying the pail for him so he’ll stop complaining.

A silly story, but one that occurs every day in reality in one form or another.

So which one is this author, you might ask? An introvert or an extravert? Well if it wasn’t already obvious from the unescapable bias, think about this: would an extravert really notice so much about introverts?