Self Portrait

Often when I’m lying down hoping to get to sleep, it occurs to me I’m not breathing in much air. My nose doesn’t seem to be allowing in enough oxygen.

I try to take in deeper breaths but I need to exhale before I’ve finished inhaling. I begin to panic. I have to sit up and try to relax. This can only happen when I stop thinking about it.

Eventually I calm and lay back down, hoping it doesn’t happen again. But hoping means I’m thinking about it.

Sometimes this exhaustive cycle is what eventually gets me to sleep.